Have you ever had an instinctive “knowing” that your relationship is more than simply a connection with another person? That there is a purpose in that connection? That it’s a natural channel for attracting what you want in life, whatever that means for you – being cherished, good health, a successful business, healthy finances? I know this is true and have experienced, it so I want to tell you about it.
I’m sure you’ve all heard of the blockbuster documentary “The Secret” which explained how to make the Law of Attraction work in your life. In a nutshell, the teachers in that film say the process involves:
1) Knowing what you want (being in touch with desire);
2) Asking for it;
3) Being grateful before you get it (“An attitude of gratitude.”);
4) Staying out of the “how” of it (i.e., how it will show up);
5) Being willing to receive it.
A Personal Story
What happens, however, when you boost this natural creative energy by supplementing it with the emotional bond that exists between men and women in relationship? I believe it creates a sort of a “super-charged” connection with the Universe, like an amplifier boosting the power of an electrical signal. It boosts a couple’s natural ability to pull what they want into their lives.
Sound a little hokey? Let’s bring it down to earth. For the last year or so I have endured a chronic and annoying health issue. About a month ago I was upset and frustrated that the problem wasn’t getting better and that all the medical avenues for dealing with it seemed exhausted. I also felt strongly about using an alternative treatment, like homeopathy, rather pharmaceuticals.
How does this fit into the Law of Attraction steps listed above? First, my desire was clear – to get rid of the problem naturally as soon as possible. Next, my frustration was my “request” for help from my partner, Jason. In that moment, according to Jason, he resolved that we would find a solution. For him that meant creating additional revenue through our business to easily cover the cost of whatever form of treatment I wanted. He didn’t know how this would happen, but he was committed to it.
The combination of my clear desire and Jason’s focused commitment and willingness to act was powerful. That same day, I found online a simple natural remedy that has had promising results. Over the next few days two businesses contacted us for possible partnerships. Those contacts sparked a vision for a new venture we will be launching later in 2010. We also got clear on a new product we will be offering in coming months. We weren’t specifically working towards any of these, but Jason was focused and committed to a result…any result…in alignment with my desire. Powerful stuff!
What’s important here is that it wasn’t just Jason’s focus or just my desire that produced results. It was the combination of his focus in alignment with my desire that was critical. The moment his energy aligned with mine the Universe started to respond.
Science Says the Gender Effect is Real and Measurable
Research from Princeton University’s Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research Lab (PEAR Lab) shows our experience is more than just wishful thinking or coincidence. In numerous experiments between 1979 and 2007 PEAR researchers Robert Jahn and Brenda Dunne discovered when “bonded” couples (i.e., couples in relationship) tried to influence the output of an electronic random number generator using only their thoughts, their joint effort yielded average effects more than twice those of “unbonded” pairs and nearly six times greater than when men and women intended separately.
According to one analyst, “Jahn and Dunne suggested that emotional closeness might create resonance between individuals, and result in stronger influence, just as two waves that are in phase or sync amplify a signal.”
Emotional Closeness + Resonance = Creative Power
If that quote seems like a bunch of scientific mumbo jumbo, you missed it. Failing to get the point of this quote is why relationships so often occur to people as unsatisfying, shallow, without purpose and frustrating…and why so many relationships fail. Read it again, and look for the deeper cut.
Did you see it this time? Emotional closeness creates resonance which results in stronger influence. Emotional intimacy is just the first step. Resonance, or vibrational harmony with your partner follows. The result is an amplified connection to the Universe that gives you stronger influence for creating what you want for your life.
For most people, however, creating emotional intimacy is all there is in relationship. It’s not just the first step, but the only step. It’s what they think “relationship” is for. It’s great in the beginning when new love makes life sparkle and crackle. This energy is powerful. A friend of ours, for example, told us about a colleague who took their company by storm, becoming the number one sales rep almost immediately after being hired. He was also newly married. Coincidence?
What happens, however, when the early passion fades? Within a year or so this sales rep’s numbers fell off dramatically. Later it was discovered that this decline in production coincided with a very rough time in his relationship, one that threatened the marriage. The light of love was dimming and there was nothing new to keep it burning. As a result, other areas of life suffered too. That’s exactly why Jason and I do what we do. We want to help couples stay in sync so they can re-ignite that emotional spark almost at will and maintain the resonance that produces amazing lives.
The Law of Attraction Between Men and Women
But how does the Law of Attraction work between men and women? Why did couples that participated in the PEAR experiments produce a stronger influence than men and women who were not in relationship or than men and women separately?
The emotional intimacy of couples mentioned above is key. Feelings are powerful.
Jason and I believe more is going on. In a nutshell, here it is. Men and women are different. Women are desire. Men are about production. When men and women act according to who they are naturally – i.e., women are clear on their desire and men are committed to focused action – they are in alignment with the Universe’s intent. This is powerful stuff.
So we could modify the above process for how the Law of Attraction works, to explain how it operates between men and women like this:
1) Women become clear about what they want (their desire);
2) They ask their partner for it in some way (verbally; through their frustration; through their excitement; etc.)
3) They are grateful before they get it. (A show of trust in their partner);
4) They don’t worry about how it will show up. They don’t let the “how” interfere with their experience;
5) Men commit to focused action to get her what she wants (commitment and action are a form of “willingness to receive”).
Implicit in this article is that using the Law of Attraction for relationships isn’t just about attracting a great relationship. It’s deeper and broader than that. It’s about working with your partner to create the life you want. It’s about an energy that exists between You, your Partner and the Universe and how to maximize it.
A lot of you reading this article will instinctively know the Law of Attraction between men and women is real. We hope you will practice it and watch your relationship and life sparkle and crackle again. Creating “emotional closeness” is the first step (and the most fun one!).
In our “Divine Dance of the Sexes” Couples Weekend Workshop, we equip you with principles of natural relating that will not only transform your relationship, but will imbue it with purpose, power and passion. It all starts by appreciating him and cherishing her.